CAPVT V · Chapter the Fifth

Of Beds & Conveyances

HOSPITIVM

Columbus is an easy city to reach and an easier one to leave, which is the most that can be asked of a city one is visiting for a single weekend. What follows is everything a traveller needs and nothing a traveller does not: a bed, a way in, a way across town, and a way home at the end of it. The bar stays open all night, and this page exists chiefly so that nobody drives home.1

The Lodging

Saturday, 15 May 2027

[HOTEL NAME]

Rooms are held under [BLOCK NAME] until [DATE], after which the hotel takes them back and sells them to strangers at whatever the market will bear.

Nightly rate [NIGHTLY RATE]

Reserve a room

[SECOND HOTEL, if you block one]

A plainer and cheaper house for those who intend to sleep in the room and do nothing else in it. Rate and terms to follow.

Drawn from memory and affection rather than from survey. It is not to scale, it omits every road you will actually use, and no one should navigate by it.2

The Conveyances

Coming by Air

John Glenn Columbus International (CMH). A small airport, which is the best thing an airport can be.

CMH

From the Airport to the Hotel

A cab or a rented car; the city obliges either.

[N] minutes

Coming by Road

Columbus sits where I-70 and I-71 cross, which is why so much of the Midwest can drive it in a morning.

[DRIVING NOTE]

The Church to the Garden

Indianola Church of Christ and the rented house are two addresses and one short drive.

[N] minutes

Parking at the House

A rented house on a residential street, which is a sentence with consequences for anyone arriving late.

[parking note]

Getting Home at the End

The bar runs all night and we would rather lose your company early than lose it altogether. Ask us and we will find you a ride.

[RIDE ARRANGEMENT]

1 The bride, who writes for a living, would like it noted that this is the only page of the book with a practical purpose, and that she has kept the jokes to a minimum accordingly. She has not kept them to none.

2 The groom, whose field is history, observes that decorative maps of this kind were once drawn with sea monsters in the empty quarters, on the reasoning that a blank space invites questions while a monster settles them. The empty quarters here hold the address of the house, which is still being settled.